Blind

So hello Goruguay and the world wide web. It has been a while since we last met.
But now my sight has been restored and I can see all the horrors of the universe in full colour.
You see, I had my eyes stabbed with hooks in a bungled copycat murder attempt disrespecting famed Mayor and vigilante Jo Jangles.
I've played a few shows with Gore since my disenvisioning, but nobody could tell. I always have a certain glaze about my eyes whether I can see or not. I am assured that all three stadiums were filled to the brim with Gore fans by Edmund.
Ah Edmund.. what has happened to him?! Constantly under a cloak of deception that has been pinned to him like a straitjacket. His paranoia and distrust of all is leading to his descent into living Hell. We all try to make light of his misery by poking fun and stealing his cars, but for the first time in several days, I am starting to think that perhaps this is not helping to solve his riddle. One colleague even suggested that it was making things worse- but I'm not sure about that. And what is his despair? Only the Pyropractor himself could decide whether to tell you such a personal problem. But I'll give you a clue- chlamydia.
And Glenfren.. he's leaving the North for the unsettled South. On the telephone last night he suggested squatting in the east wing of Palace Don-Don. So perhaps his militant aura is coming to fruition and he will join our distant brothers of rebellion and attempt to crush us Northern lords. Well whatever he decides, it gives me something to write about. So good luck to Mr Asomvel.
And the rest? Captain has found peace with religion and is going by the name "Hand of God", but I feel this phase will pass just like his adventure into the glove industry.
Gore Don.. as ever elusive and cunning, plotting, readying himself, hungry with mischief. But is taking a break from his lupine-natured characterisms enforced upon him with his rebelious leadership, to flee to another Continent soon. A secret mission he says.
Back at the stables Dinohorse has learned to strangle and ligate. She has a favourite toy that we call Goraffe. The wonderfully extensive amount of neck on Goraffe is perfect for nourishing Dinohorse with gripping and bone-crushing skills.
And I, Gorehorse.. discrimination at work has lead me to sack everyone and close down business. Under the shield of legal redundancy, they will be slave-driven for four more weeks before I, and they, are out of work.
So money is tight and ducks are plentiful. But geese all seem foreign these days. What is their fascination with my country? I don't think I know any Goruguayans who have been to Canada.

Splatterhorse out.